The __________ Family Has No One Structure or Form.

vii.3 Communication and Families

Learning Objectives

1. Compare and contrast the various definitions of family.
2. Draw various types of family rituals and explain their importance.
3. Explain how conformity and conversation orientations work together to create dissimilar family unit climates.

There is no doubt that the definition and makeup of families are changing in the Us. New information from research organizations and the 2010 US Census show the post-obit: people who choose to marry are waiting longer, more couples are cohabitating (living together) earlier marriage or instead of marrying, households with more than two generations are increasing, and the average household size is decreasing (Pew Inquiry Center, 2010). Only as the makeup of families changes, so exercise the definitions.

Defining Family

Who do yous consider part of your family? Many people would initially name people who they are related to by blood. Y'all may also proper noun a person with whom you are in a committed human relationship—a partner or spouse. Simply some people have a person not related by blood that they might refer to as aunt or uncle or even as a brother or sister. We tin can see from these examples that information technology's not simple to ascertain a family.

The definitions people ascribe to families ordinarily fall into at least one of the post-obit categories: structural definitions, task-orientation definitions, and transactional definitions (Segrin & Flora, 2005). Structural definitions of family focus on class, criteria for membership, and often hierarchy of family unit members. One instance of a structural definition of family unit is two or more people who alive together and are related by birth, marriage, or adoption. From this definition, a male parent and son, 2 cousins, or a brother and sister could exist considered a family unit if they alive together. Withal, a single person living alone or with nonrelated friends, or a couple who chooses not to or are not legally able to ally would not be considered a family. These definitions rely on external, "objective" criteria for determining who is in a family unit and who is non, which makes the definitions useful for groups like the Usa Census Bureau, lawmakers, and other researchers who demand to define family for large-scale information collection. The simplicity and fourth dimension-saving positives of these definitions are countered by the fact that many family unit types are left out in general structural definitions; however, more specific structural definitions have emerged in contempo years that include more family forms.

Family of origin refers to relatives connected by blood or other traditional legal bonds such as marriage or adoption and includes parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews. Family of orientation refers to people who share the aforementioned household and are connected by blood, legal bond, or who act/alive as if they are connected by either (Segrin & Flora, 2005). Unlike family unit of origin, this definition is limited to people who share the same household and represents the family makeup we choose. For example, virtually young people don't become to cull who they live with, but as we become older, we choose our spouse or partner or may choose to have or adopt children.

At that place are several subdefinitions of families of orientation (Segrin & Flora, 2005). A nuclear family unit includes ii heterosexual married parents and one or more children. While this type of family has received a lot of political and social attention, some scholars argue that it was only ascendant as a family unit form for a brief part of homo history (Peterson & Steinmetz, 1999). A binuclear family is a nuclear family that was split by divorce into ii separate households, one headed by the mother and one by the father, with the original children from the family residing in each home for periods of time. A single-parent family unit includes a mother or male parent who may or may not have been previously married with one or more than children. A stepfamily includes a heterosexual couple that lives together with children from a previous relationship. A cohabitating family includes a heterosexual couple who lives together in a committed relationship merely does non have a legal bond such every bit marriage. Similarly, a gay or lesbian family includes a couple of the aforementioned gender who live together in a committed human relationship and may or may not accept a legal bond such as matrimony, a civil union, or a domestic partnership. Cohabitating families and gay or lesbian families may or may not have children.

Is it more of import that the structure of a family unit matches a definition, or should we define family based on the beliefs of people or the quality of their interpersonal interactions? Unlike structural definitions of family, functional definitions focus on tasks or interaction within the family unit unit. Task-orientation definitions of family recognize that behaviors like emotional and financial support are more of import interpersonal indicators of a family unit-like connection than biology. In short, anyone who fulfills the typical tasks present in families is considered family. For example, in some cases, custody of children has been awarded to a person not biologically related to a kid over a living blood relative because that person acted more like a family member to the child. The most common family tasks include nurturing and socializing other family members. Nurturing family members entails providing basic intendance and support, both emotional and financial. Socializing family members refers to education young children how to speak, read, and practise social skills.

Transactional definitions of family focus on communication and subjective feelings of connection. While task-orientation definitions convey the importance of providing for family unit members, transactional definitions are concerned with the quality of interaction amongst family members. Specifically, transactional definitions stress that the creation of a sense of home, group identity, loyalty, and a shared past and time to come makes upwards a family. Isn't it true that someone could provide food, shelter, and transportation to school for a child but not create a sense of home? Fifty-fifty though there is no one, extensive definition of family unit, perhaps this is for the best. Given that family is a combination of structural, functional, and communicative elements, information technology warrants multiple definitions to capture that complexity.

Family Communication Processes

Think about how much time we spend communicating with family members over the course of our lives. Equally children, near of us spend much of our time talking to parents, grandparents, and siblings. As we become adolescents, our peer groups get more than central, and nosotros may even begin to resist communicating with our family during the rebellious teenage years. However, as we begin to cull and form our own families, we once more spend much time engaging in family communication. Additionally, family communication is our master source of intergenerational communication, or communication between people of unlike age groups.

Family Interaction Rituals

You may have heard or used the term family time in your own families. What does family time mean? As was discussed before, relational cultures are congenital on interaction routines and rituals. Families too have interaction norms that create, maintain, and change communication climates. The notion of family time hasn't been around for too long just was widely communicated and represented in the popular culture of the 1950s (Daly, 2001). When we think of family time, or quality fourth dimension as it's sometimes called, we usually remember of a romanticized ideal of family unit time spent together.

The nuclear family was the bailiwick of many television shows in the 1950s that popularized the idea of family time.

While family rituals and routines can definitely be fun and entertaining bonding experiences, they can also bring about interpersonal conflict and strife. Only think nearly Clark W. Griswold'southward string of well-intentioned but misguided attempts to industry family fun in the National Lampoon's Holiday series.

Families engage in a variety of rituals that demonstrate symbolic importance and shared beliefs, attitudes, and values. Three principal types of human relationship rituals are patterned family interactions, family traditions, and family celebrations (Wolin & Bennett, 1984). Patterned family interactions are the most frequent rituals and practice non have the caste of formality of traditions or celebrations. Patterned interactions may include mealtime, bedtime, receiving guests at the firm, or leisure activities. Mealtime rituals may include a rotation of who cooks and who cleans, and many families accept fix seating arrangements at their dinner table. My family unit has recently adopted a new leisure ritual for family gatherings by playing corn hole (as well known as bags). While this family activity is not formal, it's go something expected that nosotros expect forward to.

Family unit traditions are more than formal, occur less frequently than patterned interactions, vary widely from family to family, and include birthdays, family reunions, and family vacations. Birthday traditions may involve a trip to a favorite eatery, baking a cake, or hanging streamers. Family reunions may involve making t-shirts for the group or counting upward the collective age of everyone present. Family unit road trips may involve anticipated conflict between siblings or playing machine games like "I spy" or trying to find the most number of license plates from different states.

Last, family celebrations are likewise formal, have more standardization between families, may be culturally specific, assist transmit values and memories through generations, and include rites of passage and religious and secular vacation celebrations. Thanksgiving, for case, is formalized by a national holiday and is celebrated in similar ways by many families in the United states of america. Rites of passage marking life-cycle transitions such as graduations, weddings, quinceañeras, or bar mitzvahs. While graduations are secular and may vary in terms of how they are historic, quinceañeras accept cultural roots in Latin America, and bar mitzvahs are a long-established religious rite of passage in the Jewish faith.

Chat and Conformity Orientations

The amount, breadth, and depth of conversation between family members varies from family to family. Additionally, some families encourage cocky-exploration and freedom, while others wait family unity and control. This variation can be ameliorate understood past examining two key factors that influence family advice: conversation orientation and conformity orientation (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2002). A given family can be higher or lower on either dimension, and how a family rates on each of these dimensions can be used to make up one's mind a family type.

To decide conversation orientation, we determine to what degree a family encourages members to interact and communicate (converse) about diverse topics. Members within a family with a high chat orientation communicate with each other freely and frequently nigh activities, thoughts, and feelings. This unrestricted communication mode leads to all members, including children, participating in family decisions. Parents in high-chat-orientation families believe that communicating with their children openly and oftentimes leads to a more rewarding family life and helps to educate and socialize children, preparing them for interactions outside the family. Members of a family unit with a low conversation orientation do not collaborate with each other as frequently, and topics of conversation are more restricted, as some thoughts are considered private. For example, not anybody'southward input may be sought for decisions that affect everyone in the family, and open and frequent communication is non deemed of import for family operation or for a kid'south socialization.

Conformity orientation is determined past the degree to which a family advice climate encourages conformity and agreement regarding behavior, attitudes, values, and behaviors (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2002). A family with a high conformity orientation fosters a climate of uniformity, and parents decide guidelines for what to adapt to. Children are expected to exist obedient, and disharmonize is oft avoided to protect family unit harmony. This more than traditional family unit model stresses interdependence among family members, which ways space, coin, and fourth dimension are shared among firsthand family, and family relationships accept precedent over those exterior the family. A family with a depression conformity orientation encourages diversity of beliefs, attitudes, values, and behaviors and assertion of individuality. Relationships exterior the family unit are seen as important parts of growth and socialization, as they teach lessons almost and build confidence for independence. Members of these families besides value personal time and space.

"Getting Real"

Family Therapists

Family therapists provide counseling to parents, children, romantic partners, and other members of family unit units (Career Cruising, 2011). People may seek out a family therapist to deal with difficult by experiences or current problems such as family unit conflict, emotional processing related to grief or trauma, union/relationship stresses, children's behavioral concerns, and then on. Family therapists are trained to appraise the systems of interaction within a family through counseling sessions that may be ane-on-one or with other family members present. The therapist so evaluates how a family's patterns are affecting the individuals within the family. Whether through social services or private exercise, family unit therapy is usually brusk term. In one case the cess and evaluation is complete, goals are established and sessions are scheduled to rails the progress toward completion. The need for family therapists remains potent, every bit people'southward lives grow more than circuitous, careers take people away from back up networks such as family and friends, and economical hardships touch interpersonal relationships. Family therapists ordinarily have available's and primary'southward degrees and must obtain a license to practice in their state. More data about family and union therapists can be found through their professional organization, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, at http://www.aamft.org.

1. List some bug inside a family that you lot think should be addressed through formal therapy. List some bug within a family unit that you call up should be addressed directly with/by family unit members. What is the line that distinguishes between these two levels?
2. Based on what you've read in this book then far, what communication skills do yous remember would exist most benign for a family therapist to possess and why?

Determining where your family unit falls on the chat and conformity dimensions is more instructive when you lot know the family unit types that result, which are consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire (meet Figure 7.ii "Family unit Types Based on Conflict and Conformity Orientations") (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2002). A consensual family is high in both conversation and conformity orientations, and they encourage open up communication only also want to maintain the hierarchy within the family that puts parents above children. This creates some tension between a want for both openness and control. Parents may reconcile this tension by hearing their children's opinions, making the ultimate decision themselves, and so explaining why they made the decision they did. A pluralistic family is high in chat orientation and depression in conformity. Open discussion is encouraged for all family members, and parents do not strive to control their children'southward or each other's behaviors or decisions. Instead, they value the life lessons that a family member can learn by spending time with not–family members or engaging in self-exploration. A protective family is low in chat orientation and high in conformity, expects children to be obedient to parents, and does not value open up communication. Parents make the ultimate decisions and may or may non feel the need to share their reasoning with their children. If a child questions a decision, a parent may simply respond with "Because I said so." A laissez-faire family is low in conversation and conformity orientations, has infrequent and/or brusk interactions, and doesn't discuss many topics. Remember that pluralistic families also accept a depression conformity orientation, which means they encourage children to make their ain decisions in order to promote personal exploration and growth. Laissez-faire families are different in that parents don't have an investment in their children's decision making, and in general, members in this blazon of family are "emotionally divorced" from each other (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2002).

Effigy 7.2 Family Types Based on Conflict and Conformity Orientations

Key Takeaways

• There are many means to define a family.

  • Structural definitions focus on form of families and have narrow criteria for membership.
  • Chore-orientation definitions focus on behaviors like financial and emotional support.
  • Transactional definitions focus on the creation of subjective feelings of home, group identity, and a shared history and future.
• Family rituals include patterned interactions like a nightly dinner or bedtime ritual, family traditions like birthdays and vacations, and family celebrations similar holidays and weddings.

• Conversation and conformity orientations play a role in the creation of family climates.

  • Conversation orientation refers to the degree to which family members interact and communicate nearly various topics.
  • Conformity orientation refers to the degree to which a family expects uniformity of behavior, attitudes, values, and behaviors.
  • Chat and conformity orientations intersect to create the post-obit family unit climates: consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire.

Exercises

1. Of the three types of definitions for families (structural, task-orientation, or transactional), which is about important to you and why?
2. Place and describe a ritual you have experienced for each of the post-obit: patterned family interaction, family tradition, and family unit celebration. How did each of those come to be a ritual in your family?
3. Think of your own family and identify where you would fall on the conversation and conformity orientations. Provide at least 1 piece of evidence to support your decision.

References

Career Cruising, "Marriage and Family unit Therapist," Career Cruising: Explore Careers, accessed Oct 18, 2011, http://www.careercruising.com.

Daly, K. J., "Deconstructing Family Fourth dimension: From Ideology to Lived Experience," Journal of Wedlock and the Family unit 63, no. 2 (2001): 283–95.

Koerner, A. F. and Mary Anne Fitzpatrick, "Toward a Theory of Family Advice," Communication Theory 12, no. 1 (2002): 85–89.

Peterson, G. W. and Suzanne K. Steinmetz, "Perspectives on Families equally We Approach the Twenty-outset Century: Challenges for Hereafter Handbook Authors," in The Handbook of Wedlock and the Family, eds. Marvin B. Sussman, Suzanne Chiliad. Steinmetz, and Gary Due west. Peterson (New York: Springer, 1999), 2.

Pew Research Eye, "The Turn down of Marriage and Ascent of New Families," November eighteen, 2010, accessed September 13, 2011, http://pewsocialtrends.org/files/2010/eleven/pew-social-trends-2010-families.pdf.

Segrin, C. and Jeanne Flora, Family Advice (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 2005), 5–11.

Wolin, South. J. and Linda A. Bennett, "Family Rituals," Family unit Procedure 23, no. 3 (1984): 401–20.

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Source: https://open.lib.umn.edu/communication/chapter/7-3-communication-and-families/

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